We’re all just one drink away from spending some time in the big house.  If it happens you might as well be prepared, so let’s learn how to make some wine you can enjoy while passing the time.

STEP 1 – Get about 6-10 oranges.  Peel them and toss them in a giant Ziplock bag.

First, take as many oranges as you can get from the mess hall… about 6-10 will do. If you still need to stuff them in a pillowcase to beat on your cellmate, don’t worry — they can be bruised. Peel ‘em and toss ‘em in a giant Ziploc bag.

STEP 2 – Get two large cans of fruit cocktail and empty them in the Ziplock bag, juice and all.

STEP 3 – Next you’re going to need about 60 sugar cubes (help fermentation process) and 4 tbsp or 4 packets of Ketchup (for a little acidity) and place them in the Ziplock bag.

STEP 4 – Place one or two pieces of bread in the Ziplock.  Any bread product will do, the important thing is the yeast in the bread.  That is what turns your fruit and sugar into alcohol.

STEP 5 – Make sure your Ziplock bag is completely sealed and use your hands squish and pound this mixture into a pulp.

STEP 6 – Place the bag in a pot and keep it somewhere warm.  Pour warm water over the top of it then either cover it up or wrap it in a towel.  Repeat this process for 5-7 days.

 SPECIAL NOTE – You’re going to have to open the bag a tiny bit to release the gas that will be built up while this mixture turns to booze.  If you don’t have the bag cracked open a bit it will explode.

STEP 7 – After a week, you’re going ot have to strain the fruit goop.  If you can’t find a strainer then just poke some holes in the Ziplock and squeeze out the juice.

That’s it, you’re drinking cell block hooch.  It tastes like shit but does the trick.  Enjoy!

via FoodBeast